This is going to be a super honest and super personal post. So take that as a warning and let's get right in.
I sometimes panic thinking about people reading my things. There. I said it. I don't know why, because deep inside I truly want what I write to be a blessing to people. But every time I hit publish on a post that involves a story (and sometimes the other ones too!) I get a little knot in my stomach.
With Jonas and Olivia coming out in 8 days (*insert silent moment of shock*) It's not been easy coping with the idea of putting it out there for anybody who wants to to read. I wrote the book in about one month in the spring of 2015, and it happened to be a very difficult time in life for me. I was going through a lot of different emotions and processing a ton of different feelings and writing Jonas and Olivia was kind of a relief for me during that time. But now that I'm wrapping things up with the various writing processes in that book, everything is coming back to me and to be perfectly truthful--it's been hard. Of course I know people won't even know unless I tell them what I personally was going through when writing Jonas and Olivia or the meaning the book holds in my remembrances. But I know, and I've been struggling a lot with that. "What if people don't like it? I don't know if it's even very good. What will people think reading it? I don't even know the people reading it!"
With Wind Chimes I didn't really have Review Readers, and I published it in the midst of a mission trip so I didn't even hardly have time to think of it. I didn't even know what people were saying about it on my parent's Facebook and stuff till I came home, a full month after it had been published. And all the stories in Wind Chimes were written spur-of-the-moment and in a very peaceful few months of life.
It's the opposite with Jonas and Olivia. I'm here at home organizing a blog tour, contacting numerous people, thinking all the time about my book. And when I wrote it. And how people I don't even know and some I do will be reading it. And how people are actually reading it even right now. It's overwhelming, especially for this girl who's nervous to show people her things to begin with. For this girl who feels like passing out when talking to a big group of people.
But the important thing is to keep going. I have to keep reminding myself to look past the fear, past the deep emotions from the time of writing the book. To look to Jesus and rely on Him for strength. To be brave. Cry if you need to. (Trust me, it's happened more times than I'd like this past two weeks! I'm getting teared up just writing this!) But then you must tell yourself, "Stay strong. Keep on".
Why is it so important to put your writing out there even when it makes your stomach do a triple flip? Because if that is what you're supposed to be doing--then you must do it. The words you have to say are valuable. Even if everybody laughs at you or doesn't like your book or don't even choose to read your book--what you say is important. Just remember that. :)
Thank you all so much for your support! You're an amazing encouragement to me, and every comment makes my day. :)
You all have a lovely day!